Three Masks, Three Faces
The past few weeks, I hosted a papier-mache workshop weekly, basically I am just continuing working on my pieces, while instructing and helping participants working on their mask. It is such a joy to work on paper mache, especially the way we are making it. It is made with recycled materials like waste paper and cardboard, and cornstarch as glue. It's so accessible that literally anyone could do it at home.
Who do you want to be? Who are you actually? Mask-making could be such an inspiring activity to explore your true self. It's a mask you make and choose to wear, not the one you are forced to put on every morning when you get out of bed.
Kappa - The Shadow
Goddess - Persona
Fox & Raven - Ego
The 3 masks journey - from the dark side to the light, and back
The Shadow - Kappa
Kappa has always intrigued me. I was fascinated by the concept of "kappa pride". It's a monster that lives under the bridge, drags people or animals into the water, and drowns them for no specific reason. He is easily offended, especially when he feels he is looked down on, not being properly respected, and then he would attack fiercely. The ring of his hairline is a bowl that keeps water in; if he ever bent down or bowed his head, the water would spill out, and he would become weak and even die. So he would never, by his own will, submit or show the symbol of humbleness by lowering his head.
I made 3 masks, and somehow they represent perfectly the 3 aspects of me. One is who I want to be, one is the dark side, and another is my wild side. Kappa for sure is my dark side, for I, like everyone else, fear not being respected and not being seen. But being an Asian woman in this male-dominated Western world, there is another layer of struggle. When unqualified men in power look down at you and dismiss you, as if you don't exist, and you don't matter, but never hesitate to steal your ideas and take them as their own. There is part of me wanting to be humble and not spend my energy in confrontation, but at some point, enough is enough! Call me a Kappa, maybe I am overreacting, but sometimes you need a bit of that anger to stand your ground!
Goddess - The Persona
the (want to be) persona - who are you, really? I ask myself this question often. There is this person I want to be, the loving mother, the never-ending fountain, abundant and selfless. But I also know I am not that at all. I simply think: this is such a fxcked up world, someone has to do something good for others. But why me? And to whom? Of course, I am projecting my pain to others, always fearing that if I don't do this or that, this person will fall through, into the despair that I once was in. So I reach and reach, give away my own time and energy, but sometimes it feels like an endless pit that can't be filled. I keep hoping I am that endless fountain that never dries, no matter how much I give. Eventually, I come to the point of breaking myself, and when no one is there to offer their hand to me as I have done before, will I become bitter?
It's such a therapeutic act to make your own mask, with the intention to reveal yourself, instead of disguising it. I made this mask with my daughter's birthday gift wrapping, so even the material itself is meaningful to me. The cherry motif means something to me as well: when I just started making art, I often drew people with a cherry pin on them, without realizing that myself. I thought I was just adding something cheerful to an often gloomy scene. Visiting the cherry blossom festival is our family's annual tradition. And the little hummingbird was my first Inktober drawing years ago, when I first started the art-making journey.
All in all, everything that reminds me of a well-balanced, loving woman, a mother, an artist, a creative soul. Isn't it nice to be like that? But as I have shown my shadow side to you, you know this is not who I am, at least not always, and not all of me. As humans, we are complicated beings. I have tried, tried, and still am trying, to be better. Maybe not by denying other parts of myself, but by embracing all of me. Love myself first. Then I can love others, and not allow them to drain me dry.
The Fox & Ravem - The Ego
The wild side, the ego - is it the raven or is it the fox? The two complicated magical beings are found in many different cultures. Sometimes the fox is the canning one, sometimes the raven outsmarts the fox; sometimes the fox represents the wild instinct and the raven the frustrated bystander, sometimes the other way around. I will say they are both essential in my wild side, the schizophrenic side of me being wild. Going from one extreme to another, the constant inner monologues of a punisher and the punished. Oh, the wild me!
I used a cut-off grape vine I found on the street as the frame for looming, with all kinds of random threads that were leftovers from other knitting and crochet projects. Things I made for myself, for my family, and my loved ones. Simply by looking at it, I can recount all those projects I spent days and weeks on, what I was thinking at that period. It's an alchemy to turn waste into something meaningful, a new being.