Most of the beautiful things I have ever created came after a period of heartache and turbulence. It is literally like giving birth, you must allow the old patterns and once safe ground to shatter, and allow yourself to be broken open, eventually from the cracks and wounds, a new life can come to be. It is in the heartache that we realize that we no longer fit into the old life that we identify ourselves with. A change must be made, we must build ourselves up from the crumbles and pieces, to become new. It can be a terrifying experience to break away from the old life, but refusing the invitation is not an option. The old self either shatters from within or is crushed by outer events.
From heaven and below
I have always been an avid tarot card practitioner since the very moment I saw a small desk containing only the 22 major arcana illustrated by an unknown Japanese artist on my aunt’s bookshelf. I was only 8 at that time. Since then, tarot cards have always been my trustful travel companion, the voice of wisdom in the moments of suffering and hardships, it provides a possibility to dialogue with my subconscious, my intuition, and my own true understanding about myself, which often are buried under layers and layers of noise from the outside world, the learned self-criticisms and judgements. The divination is always a connection between the heaven and earth, the outer events, and our inner landscapes. Often, we have already sensed what might be coming, but our desires and fears prevent us from hearing the warnings. If we open our hearts, allow it to feel the possible aches of destruction and the joys often come after the new life is built, we too can learn to live in this ever-changing world with unshakable inner peace.
Breaking the boundaries between the originals and replicas
To strive for the true freedom of creativity, I want to make this line of paintings, each with a series of 10 originals, to blur the line between originals and replicas. I believe there is something irreplaceable with the originals, yet the idea of “one of and the only” hints at the freedom to experiment freely, and make the “only one original” sacred and the process frivolous, while I believe what makes the art experience truly transcendent lies exactly in the process. It’s the journey that matters. Each painting in each series will use different colors, techniques, and even slightly different drawings, but remains recognizable with the same design, yet projects a range of different atmospheres and evokes different emotions. I will create them not in the traditional tarot cards desk order, but follow the flow of my own life and what it inspires.
The Aching Hearts
The first two series are “Moon” and “Three of Swords”. “Moon” shows a blindfolded woman running through a mood-lighted wilderness, while a demon-like creature is hiding among the tall grass in the near vicinity. Titled “Love is Blind”, the blindfolded woman reminds us that, though we all crave love and connection, what we look for is often our own projection, as if we are blindfolded in our ceaseless search and exposed to all the dangers out there in the darkness. As always, what we look for outwards must first be found inside; otherwise, we are already lost.
“Three of Swords,” traditionally shown as a heart cut through by three swords, represents a period of heartache and sadness. In “The Day After You Left, It Rained the Whole Day”, it shows a hopeful image after the rock bottom. The world might still seem gloomy from the sense of loss, but the new hopes are present in every corner, like those golden raindrops reflecting the shimmering sunlight piercing through the dark clouds. There is beauty everywhere, even in the bleakest moment.
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